Be still and know that I am God.

You know how there times when you crave to hear certain kinds of music? It could be the season or the mood, the need for energy or relaxation, but whatever the reason there's just the right kind of music for that particular moment in time.

Lately, for me, it's been the songs of Taize.

Taize is actually a very modern ecumenical monastic order in Taize, France (founded in the 1960s). But what is distinctive about this Christian community is its meditative style of worship that combines silence with sacred choral music and short readings that are intended to calm the soul so that you can experience a moment with God. It is prayer without words. And yet it is also not prayer in solitude or isolation. The Taize experience is actually built around the community, a shared experience, even in silence.

My church in Toronto practiced Taize once and awhile, as the part of the worship during our Sunday services. It was incredibly refreshing, albeit often much too short. We'd sing a Taize song, read a prayer, and sit in silence for a while. But then the service would continue on and the busy-ness of life would pick up again.

I guess right now I crave silence and meditation because life has gotten pretty hectic for me and I've had a lot on my mind. While I like being busy and having things to do, checklists to cross off and tasks to accomplish, I also enjoy quiet times. Unfortunately, when life gets busy like this, my quiet times often turn into wasted down time, either in front of the TV or puttering about while listening to the radio or to music. I don't actually take time to be silent. I guess this is why Taize has been on my mind lately. Silence is a very hard discipline to practice. You have to be intentional about it, and set aside time and energy (because sleeping doesn't count) to practice silence. And you have to stop talking.

I really like what the Taize website says about the value of silence:

Sometimes we are apparently silent, and yet we have great discussions within, struggling with imaginary partners or with ourselves. Calming our souls requires a kind of simplicity: "I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvellous for me." Silence means recognising that my worries can’t do much. Silence means leaving to God what is beyond my reach and capacity. A moment of silence, even very short, is like a holy stop, a sabbatical rest, a truce of worries.

Read the whole article here.

I know that a lot of my friends who may follow my blog aren't the churchy type, and that's fine. I still think there is a lot of value in taking time to be silent and for meditation in whatever form you may see fit (introspective, retrospective, or maybe even extrospective).

I close with this last thought, again from the Taize website:
When words and thoughts come to an end, God is praised in silent wonder and admiration.

A weekend in pictures

I went to the Valley this weekend, and enjoyed a 24 hour vacation in the countryside. So much got done in that short period of time: I did a few loads of laundry and hung out on the clothesline, G. replaced my brake pads and rotors, I went to the Wolfville Market with Mom for lunch and got my hair cut (3.5 inches and still most people don't notice it's been cut *sigh*).

I dipped my toes in the brook, which most years has dried up by this point in the summer. As you can see, there's lots of water in it this summer.

I did my produce shopping for the week in Mom's garden: beets, carrots, green beans, waxed beans, kale, Thai basil....did I miss anything?

And then I went up the road and picked 5 pints of raspberries at the U-Pick, and mashed them into this delicious sauce, perfect for my yogurt in the morning!

When I got back to the city, I decided I needed to find my way to Lawrencetown Beach. I've promised a certain 9 year old (The Little) to take her to a beach and I haven't quite decided which one we should go to. Suggestions are welcome. I'm leaning towards Lawrencetown because they waves are just plain fun, but there beach is actually pretty rocky and not conducive to playing in the sand. Queensland or Cleveland Beach might be better for that.

I had fun in the waves while I was there and managed to get soaked. But what would you expect when you stand in the water waiting for waves daring the waves to crash into you! :) I have to say, the water was really cold! It took a little while to get aclimatised (read: numb).

Afterwards I found a spot in the sand and watched the surfers while the feeling came back to my legs.

It was a beautiful weekend. Perfect in almost every way - a good mix of fun and productivity, of exploring new places and visiting the familiar.

Oh, and I'm over my obsession with the "dream house" in Berwick. Having a realtor stand-you-up for a viewing will do that to you. In the end it's probably better this way. The likelihood of loving this house even more after seeing it in person was pretty high, and yet it's still too far away. The message was clear: the house is not for me. I can move on now.

Home is where the heart is. Right?

As many people close to me know, I've been spending far too much time lately obsessing about a particular house on the market. It's a beautiful house, with character and charm, and a spacious but private yard, and it's certainly within my price-range should I want to buy it. In fact, this house is pretty much my dream house. The problem? It's 1.5 hours away from my job, and my job is not really one that would allow me to work from home. And I'm nowhere near being prepared to walk away from my job for something else closer to this house. I won't give up one dream for another.

Still, this makes me a little sad. I'm not uncomfortable where I am right now and quite like my current living space (for the most part). But I'm really looking forward to the day when I will feel finally settled into a home of my own. I realise that renting right now is actually pretty dumb, considering how low the interest rates are for mortgages and I had to be throwing good money away on an investment that's not my own. I also know for a fact that my mother is tired of storing the remaining bits (bits may be an understatement) of my stuff and would happily repatriate it with the rest of my things the first chance she'd get.

But here's the other problem: it's difficult to buy in the HRM on a single-person's salary. Interest rates are low, but housing prices are not. Even most condos are above my price-range. Now this is where I could bemoan my single-ness and wish I were in different circumstances - because there is no doubt that buying would be much easier with two incomes - but this I refuse to do! All told, I'm okay with being single. Sure, it's not quite where I thought I'd be at this stage in my life, but I'm determined to not let it stop me from doing the things in life I'd like to do - the things in life I'm supposed to do. Like own a home, rather than rent for the rest of my life. Afterall, I need to be sure I have a place to live in my retirement, right?

So now comes the fun part. Preparing. I'm still a long ways off from buying. I've got a bit of work to do. I have to carefully evaluate what it is in a home that I'm looking for: location, features, amenities, etc.; and I have to squirrel away more money for a downpayment and for "the inevitable emergency" fund.

In the meantime, I'll try and tear myself away from the idea of living in this picture-perfect house and of the quality of life it inspires. Sigh. Here's hoping for something equally as lovely here in the HRM when it comes time for me to buy.